Mommy Learns

Sub-zero weather provides for some beautiful winter sceneries, but I’ve found that those sceneries are best enjoyed from the warm comfort of your living room. The problem is that with two kids there’s only so much you can do to stay entertained while stuck in the house for three days. But, if the roads aren’t too bad, here are some of our favorite ways to get out of the house and have some warm fun elsewhere.

1. Library – Our local library is broken up into a number of different branches, none of which are that far away, and they each have storytime and kids events on different days. Even if there aren’t any specific events going on the kids still love going and picking out their own books. There are also computer games, puzzles and other toys to keep them entertained for enough time to make the trip worth it. The added benefit of the library is that the kids know they need to be quiet, so it helps to ease the noise induced headaches we parents are prone to.

2. Museum – There are few things that can wow a four year old boy more than a natural history museum, especially one with big dinosaur bones. We are fortunate to have just such a museum, that has no required admission fees, and four floors of educational entertainment that even a two year old can enjoy. The personal perk for me: the museum is on the University campus, which boasts a coffee shop on every corner, so each museum trip ends with a coffee and muffin.

3. Y.M.C.A./Gym - This option isn’t as cost effective as the above two, however, the benefits of taking the kids to the YMCA far exceed the monthly membership fees (also, most gyms have financial assistance programs for those who need it). The kids aren’t quite ready to use the treadmills, but fortunately our Y has a great walk in kids pool along with their lap pool. The kids love being in the water, and I love that they are getting all their energy out and getting some exercise. If you are lucky to have a spouse as involved as mine there is also the chance to have one parent in the pool with the kids while the other enjoys some time on the track or workout machines. During their dad’s work hours I’ve also found some good sports/fitness classes to sign the kids up for. Again, these classes get the kids some much needed exercise, while also giving them some time to socialize with other kids.

4. Pottery Decorating – There are a number of different pottery stores that allow you to decorate your own ceramic piece right in the store. They will then take your painted piece and finish it with a glaze and firing. The finished piece is then fully kitchen ready. These stores are, again, not always a cheap option. However, the one-of-a-kind ceramics you create make great gifts for grandparents or other family members. You are also paying for the fun of painting and creating with your kids. I like taking the kids because I’m not the most creative person in the world, so it’s nice to take them somewhere with artistic people on hand to help and they usually have a lot of finished pieces displayed to give inspiration.

5. Public Transportation - If you are fortunate enough to live close to public transportation then taking a ride on the bus can be a really fun experience for the kids. This ride can of course be combined with any of the above options, and also helps to make your outing more environmentally friendly. My kids are both young enough to ride for free, so sometimes riding the bus can be a cheap adventure in and of itself. Unfortunately, you are more restricted by the bus schedule, but even this can help provide some clear departure times to hopefully ease the kids’ whining about heading home.

The hardest part about having a two year old who refuses to go to sleep is the overwhelming jealousy I have towards her. Here she is, at 8:00 PM every night with the opportunity to snuggle up and sleep for a solid 12 hours or more. I would love to sleep that long just once a year, much less every night. And yet she refuses to see the absolute joy there is to be had in dozing calmly off to sleep. She has to make it a miserable war with her on one side and Mom and Dad’s sanity on the other.

I feel like my new mantra these days is “it’s not ideal, but whatever works”. I find myself saying that about nap times, the kids’ dinner choices, cleaning the house, and especially any semblence of my own presentable self. However, lately when it comes to putting Z to bed, not even the un-ideal is working. Our first mode of attack was to just give her a sippy cup of milk in bed and she would fall asleep with that. Then she needed us to sit in there with her after the milk was gone. Then she started waking up two or three times a night, needing one of us to sit with her then too, and brave the perilous walk back out the room. When even that got too hard, I finally just decided to sleep in her room with her once she woke up. First in her bed, but eventually just on the floor next to her. Now that doesn’t even seem to be keeping her asleep. I honestly feel like we are completely out of choices. Letting her scream it out only means she is up for hours getting enormously upset, and driving us insane in the process.

I just wish there as a way for me to impart on her how absolutely fantastic a good night’s sleep is. But since there is not, I guess it’s back to the drawing board to find a new way to get her to fall asleep without making me lose my mind.

It has always just amused me that every time I work at G’s preschool he is always the last one eating at snack time. But as I was thinking more about it today I began to worry that perhaps I haven’t taught him enough about moderation. I’m not exactly known as the Queen of Moderation myself, usually going back for second helpings at dinners and the occasional dessert pig out. Could I be passing on my own inability for self-restraint? I certainly hope not. Perhaps he is just in a growing phase, and needs to eat more. I’m sure everyone else at preschool thinks I don’t feed him enough food. So I’ve tried to think of ways to teach him self control without discouraging him from eating enough to be full.

The one thing we have been trying to instill in him is to try to listen to his body. He doesn’t fully grasp the concept, instead using it as an excuse to try to get what he wants: “My tummy says this food is yucky. It says it wants dessert.” But perhaps if I vocalize how my body feels then it will be a better example of how to react.

The other key I have found is to rely on smaller portions, so that we can all better gauge what we have eaten. I do this with the kids already, making sure that they have small portions on their plates at dinner time, so if they do eat everything they can feel a sense of accomplishment, and even if they want more there is enough of a time delay that they could start to feel full. I am even being better about my own portion control. Of course it always helps when you have smart appliances. I have come to love our new single serve coffee machine, since I can now easily moderate my caffeine intake while not wasting any unused coffee.

In the end it’s not really a bad thing that he eats a lot at snacktime, I just want to make sure he knows to curb his desires when it comes to other cravings.

While driving by a McDonalds today G began asking whether the food they served there was good for you. It was difficult trying to explain to him the infinite number of reasons why, not only is the food not good for you, but it’s also not really food. He then began asking about the healthiness of the other restaurants he could see out the car window as well as the restaurants we frequent as a family. I actually felt kinda proud when he asked if the Farmer’s Market had food that was good for you. Not only does he know what the Market is, but that gave me a perfect chance to explain to him that fresh vegetables (especially locally grown ones) are the best food he could possibly eat, and that is why we belong to a local CSA.

This all reminded me about the numerous books I rely on to give my family the healthiest diet and lifestyle. I include them here as a way to encourage people to look beyond parenting how-to books to find inspiration for ways to raise better and more conscientious kids.

Mark Bittman’s How to Cook Everything Vegetarian – Let me start out by saying the first thing Bittman does in this book, I am not a vegetarian, nor do I plan on becoming one. That being said, this book is a fantastic way to move away from a predominantely meat based diet. There is a recipe for every fruit, vegetable and grain I have ever heard of, and usually more than one suggestion on ways to change the recipe to suite your tastes. The thing I love the most about this book is that it doesn’t rely on “fake meats” to present really delicious, meatless foods.

Michael Pollan’s The Omnivore’s Dilemma – This book gives an eye opening description of where the food we eat comes from. In a non-preachy manner, Pollan discusses the advantages of eating local and organic food. This book really stressed to me the impact our diet choices have not only on our health and the health of our families, but also the environmental impact. Helping my children understand where our food comes has only encouraged them to be more interested in gardening and eating more healthy foods.

Barbara Kingsolver’s Animal, Vegetable, Miracle – I became a fan of Kingsolver a while ago for her fiction writing. However, this book took her writing in a very different direction. With a message very similar to that of the Omnivore’s Dilemma, Kingsolver recounts her and her family’s experience of living off a purely local diet. I loved the family focus of this book, with writings from Kingsolver, her husband, and her daughter. The books shows just how possible it is to live with a new awareness about what our families eat.

Nancy Clark’s Sports Nutrition Guidebook – This book sort of falls into the how-to category, of which I already stated I wasn’t a big fan. However, what I love about Clark’s approach to nutrition is that it’s based, not on the idea of dieting, but on the necessity to create a more active lifestyle. I’ve found weight loss inspiration for myself (as I’m sure most mother’s would love) and also ways to create a more active lifestyle for my kids.

Another year has begun, and with it comes some much needed personal changes. This site has not received the attention I had originally hoped to give it, so my resolutions shall begin here. This year I want to do things differently in order to make myself a better person, and by doing so, make myself a better mother and wife as well.

The reason I wanted to start a blog in the first place was to have a place to unload my day. I need a place to vent and decompress, and through writing, to help learn from all the experiences that drive me crazy on a daily basis. Realistically I know I won’t be able to write here everyday, but that is at least something I can aim for.

Aside from writing there are a few other resolutions on the list:

• Finish a project before starting a new one. I’ve learned that trying to plow through multiple projects at once only manages to frustrate me and it ends up taking twice as long to finish any of them. So, the current project of painting G’s desk chair (although a trivial project in the great scheme of things) will be completed before any others are started.
• I have to start taking my physical appearance seriously. This isn’t so much about wanting to look attractive and doing my hair and makeup, but more about respecting myself enough to not settle for extra weight gain, blotchy skin, or other things that can easily be changed. By taking a little bit more effort with making myself look and feel better physically then hopefully I will feel better mentally and emotionally as an individual and not just as a mother. This resolution has some much more specific goals attributed to it, such as a specific weight loss plan, but that can all be laid out in more detail later.
• Finally, I need to learn a bit more patience. As the sleep deprivation sets it, it becomes harder and harder to hold back my anger and frustration. But I’ve found that by withholding yelling, although difficult in the moment, makes me feel enormously better overall.

I know new years resolution lists are extremely cliche, and are rarely taken seriously come January 10th, but I’ve never really made a list in the past, so maybe by trying something new this year I may actually achieve some much needed changes in my life.